AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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