Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
