its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You may now shotgun with the bride
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You were trust falling into bushes
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
