I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
