All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
