New invention idea: vibrating tampons
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
