Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
