i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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