Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize