Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
