i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
