You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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