I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
