You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
