I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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