did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
