very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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