i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
