If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
