i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
