I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
