I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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