i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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