everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Acid is not a monday night drug
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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