just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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