If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Randomize
