i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
