i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
