the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I have tasted many bathrooms
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
