i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
