I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Randomize