Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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