trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
this will be a night to untag.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
