Bisexual people are plain selfish.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
