i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize