We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
