Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
