yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Randomize
