Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
