physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize