It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
