it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
