We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
