I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
