You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
