I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
