1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
