Banned from zoo.
Again?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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