We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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