So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
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