I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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