Now he's lighting his socks on fire
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
