I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
