Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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