i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
