in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
