yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
