Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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