Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
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